No, I’m not advocating the use of machine gun fire so let’s nip that one in the bud right from the get-go. I am of course, referring to the ADHD kid of social media: Twitter.

I used to be so colourful: writing lengthy blog entries about what I’d been doing, where I’d been on holiday, things that piss me off and so on. I used to update my status on Facebook and look forward to reading friends’ updates and seeing what they’ve been up to in Farmville (OK not the second one). But that’s all gone by the wayside now. Facebook is getting along quite nicely without me, Thank You, and this blog… well, this blog has probably forgotten who its creator is, let’s just leave it at that.

The reason is Twitter. I’m addicted to Twitter. I really like Twitter. Twitter is my friend.

Why?

Well, I — like most people I guess — can be interesting and quite funny at times, but not all of the time. No. Quite a lot of the time I’m being just ordinary, and who wants to read that? That’s the trouble with blogging and bloggers: You know there is a rapier wit in there somewhere but you often have to trawl through pages and pages of “my cat did this” and “what I bought in Oxford St last weekend” in order to find the odd really funny story or joke. And if you yourself are a blogger (like I am, but I only loosely qualify on the grounds that I don’t do any actual blogging much any more) then you have the added chore of having to write regular pearls of wisdom or comedic gems that will have your readers rolling around beside their brushed metal computer desk in fits of laughter. That’s pressure.

If only there were some smaller, tighter, more concise way of telling the world how you feel. A way of immediately sharing that joke you just thought of. Nothing more, no pre-amble or detailed description of the circumstances. Just the joke. What if you have a statement you want to make about your view of the world right now but you don’t want to spend half an hour doing it? Well sit back and relax, because Twitter is the answer.

I find it liberating that I have only 140 characters in which to deliver my message whatever it may be. I no longer have to put too much thought into what I want to write, I just have an idea, then tippy tappy it’s gone, out into the Big Wide World. And even better, if you’re stuck for something to say you can read what everyone else is saying and respond to that. It’s like a huge shared firework display of language. BANG! that was nice. Oooohhhh! I liked that one, but now it’s gone and we’re on to the next. Whose rocket will launch next? I’m not sure this analogy is working now; seemed like a good idea at the time.

Anyway, I may not be writing much here at the moment (all that will change on January 1 of course), but at least I’ve done you the favour of including my Twitter timeline over on the left-hand column, in this <<—- general direction, so even if there are no updates on the blog you can at least see that I’m still alive and talking to people. Probably not to you though.

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wordpress? No Chance!

 

Twitter and Facebook are sapping all my creative juices. And if that’s not bad enough, I now have a Google Wave account too.

I want to write a Google Wave review/first impressions, but what with checking all my messages and sending all my updates I can’t find the time.

I visit Utah a couple of times a year (my company is based there), and this time decided to follow through on something I’ve been promising myself for ages: I rented a Harley-Davidson for the weekend.

My Weekend Mean Machine

My Weekend Mean Machine

Because it’s getting toward Winter the local dealership Timpanogos Harley were offering a discounted rate of $99 per day for any of a range of 5 or 6 models. I was advised by a Harley fanatic friend to go for the new Street Glide, so that’s what I did.

I picked up the Street Glide last Saturday — a chilly but dry and bright morning. I had brought my own leather jacket, boots, and underlayers with me and the dealer loaned me a Hells Angel-style open helmet (later in the weekend I borrowed a full-face from a friend as the open one was a nightmare). After signing about 5 waivers absolving them of any and all liability I was led out to the parking lot where they took me round the bike and then insisted on watching me ride around the car park to prove I knew how to ride. That was a little intimidating but I went down the end, turned around and came back without falling off so they were happy. Knowing that it was my first time they offered me the use of their training course round the back, so I spent the first ten minutes practising cornering and generally getting used to the feel of the thing in safety. Very useful!

The weekend was just great. Quite cold but dry and with good visibility, and I rode around 300 miles, part freeway but as much as possible through winding mountain roads with stunning scenery.

Compared with a “regular” Japanese road bike like mine the Harley’s ride was very different. At cruising speeds the bike was immensely comfortable — I could have sat there all day watching the world fly past. Low speed in a straight line was also pretty easy; but when it came to low-speed car park manouevres things were a little hairier. I found the balance of the bike very different compared to mine. the bars and front wheel felt heavier and inclined to pull the bike to the side the more they turned. I found the best way to handle this was to lean forward so my body weight was more over the instrument panel (but keeping the weight off the bars). This made it easier to feel what the bike wanted to do and go with it without losing balance. Of course this is just a case of non-familiarity and I’m sure it would be fine once you get used to it.

Do I look cool?

Do I look cool?

Anyhow, I got through the weekend in one piece and without dropping it, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. While I’m not about to buy a Harley for the North Circular I can certainly see the attraction that gives them such a die-hard following.

Flying to Salt Lake City tomorrow, for a week of meetings but MORE IMPORTANTLY — spending this weekend riding the mountain roads on a Harley Davidson Street Glide. I’m taking my camera in hopes of finding some stunning Autumn scenery, and the weather looks like it’ll be cold-ish but dry and clear, so I’m REALLY looking forward to it.

Pics to follow.

Well I must say how overwhelmed I was by your responses to my recent pole poll…NOT! In the 48 hrs since posting I’ve had a grand total of three votes, and one of them was me. Honestly I don’t know why I bother.

You probably don’t even care whether anyone got the right answer do you? To be honest, I can’t say what the right answer is with total confidence, but from what I’ve read and a couple of other telltale signs I’m confident (enough to put a fiver on it) that they are mobile phone antennas, designed to replace or augment those unsightly dish towers.

Have a look at this:

Mystery Pole

Mystery Pole

These telegraph-pole-size poles have been cropping up in the roads around where I live over the last few months.

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Of course the big question is: what the heck are they?

I’m excited. Going to Provo next week (again). Each time I visit Utah I promise myself a weekend riding through the state’s stunning scenery on a Harley Davidson. Circumstances have worked against me to prevent this happening up until now, but this time there’s nothing standing in my way, so I have booked this:

The Harley Davidson Street Glide

While Harley’s aren’t really my thing from a riding enjoyment perspective — I much prefer Japanese street bikes — when you’re in the American Mid-West there really is no other choice. As a Harley-owning pal of mine says: “Harleys are not about great handling. It’s all about the lifestyle”. So I’m looking forward to my first taste of the Harley lifestyle.

Full story and photos to follow after next weekend.

At the end of last night’s TV programme about our disposable hi-tech gadget lust they showed a TV & Computer recycling centre, where they recycle 300 TV sets and 4 tons of computers. They are disassembled by hand and the components re-used to make new units. Quite reassuring to see, but then you realise that this amount is a tiny fraction of the Cathode Ray Corpses that we discard every day — far more end up as landfill.

The show was well done and raised some interesting issues, and is part of the BBC’s new Electric Revolution: a season of programmes looking at our relationship with technology. Tonight’s show is Electric Dreams, in which a family of gadget freaks have to spend a couple of weeks with only Seventies’ gadgets available. Should be interesting — you try to check your Facebook on a Sinclair Spectrum!

Right now I’m watching a BBC documentary called Upgrade Me. It’s about the digital age we live in and how disposable hi-tech gadgets have become. The Head of Consumer Electronics at John Lewis (Department Store) says that their entire range of laptop computers is “refreshed” four times per year, so manufacturers like Sony and Toshiba replace each new model with an even newer one every three months. Three months. The entire range. Staggering. Modern electronic gadgets are so disposable; so what happens to all our unwanted “old” tech? Well if you’re like me (and the show’s presenter — writer Simon Armitage) then you’ll have one (or more) gadget graveyards: that bottom drawer where you slung your old gameboy, ipod, camera, and laptop. So each of us has our own little shrine that tells our own personal upgrade story, but what about the big picture? What happens to all the old TVs, VHS recorders, HiFi’s and computers? I’m sure the programme will get to that question eventually (in fact I know it will because they showed a preview of the guy wearing a hard hat and hi-viz vest and being walked around a huge computer dump). If they teach me anything I didn’t already know I’ll report it here. Don’t hold your breath.

I want a new:

  • iPod Touch (the top of the range 64 Gb of course)
  • HD TV — big, LCD, full 1080p resolution, multiple HDMI slots
  • Archos internet tablet with hundreds of Gigabytes of storage and built in WiFi.
  • Digital SLR (I’d like the bit pro model but would settle for a D5000)
  • Blackberry Storm (WiFi, 3G, touch screen, multi-megapixel camera)
  • Garmin Zumo (sat nav for my motorcycle)

Anyone want to buy an old iPod/TV/Archos/SLR/Blackberry/Satnav? Didn’t think so. I know! Let’s all meet up one Saturday. We’ll each bring all our old unused gadgets and build a huge robot. Or even better we’ll form two teams, build a big red robot and a big blue robot, then set them on each other in a battle to the death. Loser buys the drinks.

@nealofarbia on Twitter

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